When the idea came to me nearly a year ago to write a blog for single Christians, it came with this name, “One is a Whole Number.” I didn’t think to look up whether or not someone else already had used this name. That was because I never imagined myself writing a blog, let alone a weekly blog.
I remember when blogs first came out and an attorney friend of mine got all excited about writing her very own blog. I wasn’t too impressed with any of them initially; they just looked like another electronic platform for the average man to pontificate. After spending some time in prayer and contemplation last October, I figured this whole deal must have been from the Lord because I sure wasn’t looking for it!
It was immediately and completely obvious to me why a blog for single believers in Christ would be named One is a Whole Number.
In Christ, each and every person is whole, complete in Christ. Thank you, Jesus, that our completeness does not depend on our marital status! Colossians 2:10 says, “So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority (NLT).”
We may sometimes not feel complete without a spouse. I get that. Sometimes more often than not, I get a ghost sensation on the wedding finger of my left hand, a sense that a wedding ring is missing and that I should be married. It used to bother me. Now when it’s strong, I use that sensation to pray for my future husband. I also use it as motivation to remember that I belong to Jesus no matter what my marital status is, and that I am, right here, right now, complete in Christ.
I am not out there looking for “my other half” because I am not a half person. I am complete in Christ, right here, right now.
I don’t need to go running around from church to church and relationship to relationship looking for my soulmate. I believe that such a thing as a soulmate exists, but I don’t need to chase, compete for, manipulate, or impress my way through relationships looking for my soulmate. I can be relaxed around my brothers and be a godly sister and friend amongst them because I am complete in Christ, right here, right now.
It would be nice, but not necessary, for me to have my femininity, my feelings, or my lacks and needs affirmed by my husband. The Lord made me feminine though not frilly. He made me unique, including my sense of logic, my being pragmatic, and my emotional I.Q., complete with its emotional range and expression. However, I am complete in Christ, right here, right now.
What does it mean to Christ’s follower who is single and yet be complete, “in Christ,” right here, right now?
To be “in Christ” means that, because: 1) you have personally accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and 2) because He has invaded your heart, your soul, and your life and immediately began making changes, 3) the Holy Spirit spiritually baptized you into the corporate body of Christ; read Galatians 3:26-28 and 1 Corinthians 12:13.
Because you are spiritually a part of a much larger corporate body of believers, a body that extends across thousands of years of human history, to every country that ever existed, every ethnic group that every existed, to every color and age and language, you are literally never alone. When you get to heaven, you will meet believers from millennia ago who right now you only read about in the Bible: Adam, Eve, Noah, Abraham, Moses’ sister Miriam, King David, the prophet Jeremiah, Jesus’ mother Mary, the apostle Paul. You’ll meet single followers of Jesus all over the world who are alive right now but whom you will never meet in this life, single believers who are going to school or suffering torture as political prisoners or parenting their children or playing soccer or working at a government office or lying comatose in a hospital bed.
The absolute one thing that every person in the body of Christ has in common with every other disciple in the body of Christ, is Christ Himself. He is the lowest common denominator.
He is so powerful that He completes each person who comes to Him. He completes without losing a drop of energy, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, what each and every believer lacks in character, personality, providence, knowledge, wisdom, righteousness, purity, faith, hope, and love. Between all believers and because of each person’s uniqueness and contribution to the body of Christ, together we fill in all the gaps in the body, 1 Corinthians 12:12-13, 18, and 22-27. In Christ, we have the potential to present the Lord to a lost and dying world, the vast and unredeemed part of the human race that is imploding on its own putrefying cesspool of sin and sins, John 17:20-21.
These ideas of being “in Christ” have strong implications for you and for me, my single Christian friends.
It means that no matter how extended your season of singleness is, you are whole and complete “in Christ,” right here, right now.
It means that you can relax, chill in your spirit, and not have to get anxious and make poor, desperate decisions about your burning desire to get married. “In Christ,” you can have peace about your current marital status, gather wisdom and patience for your future, and not treat singleness like the bubonic plague or the Zika virus.
It means that even though you are not married right now, and you may feel lonely, because you are “in Christ,” His presence and power are within you. You don’t have to hurry and chase around after someone you desperately want to make yourself whole when He has already filled you up. You can press on into ministry, a deeper intimacy with Christ, and/or the understanding that loneliness is a temporary feeling and state and there are any number of things you could do to rejoin the human race either now or later.
It means that even though you may feel alienated because you feel like you are surrounded by couples, because you are “in Christ,” you can stand alone because Jesus is living inside of you. You can also remind yourself that just over half the population of the United States (51.6%) is now single, according to the most recent national censuses. (Look around…Who else around you is single, who could appreciate a little relief from aloneness by your invitation to a potluck at your place with games or movies?)
It means that, as you continue to allow the Lord to transform you, He is preparing you for better connections with others which may or may not include marriage. If His future for you includes marriage, great. If His future for you does not include marriage, great. You will be just as much “in Christ” on the day of your death as you were when you first became born again.
Your marital status does not affect your standing “in Christ.” How you experience, process, and enjoy (or denigrate) your marital status is up to you, my friend. Make sure you keep in the back of your mind that individuals who have a life, who enjoy life, who are busy pursuing life with the Lord, are more attractive to the kind of person you probably want to marry than someone who sits around whining about being single, lonely, bored, and miserable.
Remind yourself that one is a whole number. That whole number is you being “in Christ.”
Instead of trying to make 1 + 1 = 1, try multiplication: 1 x 1 x 1 = 1. When you multiply two whole individuals, complete in Christ and subject to Christ, and again multiply these two persons by the persistent power of Christ, you will still get One. A great, big, mighty One!
In matters of math and marriage, remember: One IS a Whole Number. You are whole because of what Jesus did on the cross. Now go out there and enjoy life and sees who He brings your way!
Please feel free to find me, Like, and Share on Face Book under, “For single Christians: One is a Whole Number!”
Stephanie Hanes. Singles nation: why so many Americans are unmarried. Article for the Christian Science Monitor. 6/14/15. http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2015/0614/Singles-nation-Why-so-many-Americans-are-unmarried
Daphne Lofquist, Terry Lugaila, Martin O’Connell, and Sarah Feliz. 51.6% figure derived from pg. 6 of Households and families: 2010; 2010 census briefs. April 2012. https://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-14.pdf
Wendy Wang and Kim Parker. Record share of Americans have never married. Article for the Pew Research Center. 9/24/14. http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2014/09/24/record-share-of-americans-have-never-married/