You did it, Christian Single. Perhaps the holiday magic did its work and you started dating about two or three months ago. Or maybe you have already been dating for some time now. Congratulations!
It’s beautiful, exhilarating, heady, and magical, to be in the beginnings of a fresh new romance. Dating is especially awesome if this time feels “different” than other romantic relationships you have had. Stronger. Better.
Perhaps this “Christian dating” thing is actually very new to you and/or your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Many Christians met the Lord–became His followers–after they got married, divorced, or widowed.
Many believers have become more focused and serious about their relationship with Jesus in the last year or two. Many have even become His newest disciples in the last few weeks or months, and want to do the romance thing right, but they get a lot of conflicting advice from church leaders, Christian friends, and online sources.
If your church or community has a Christian bookstore, you may have already browsed their Singles section and found a dearth of resources you could relate to. I started a couple of other articles yesterday and kept running into these amazing tools from various sources I trust. I thought, let me save the longer articles for another day and let you access these tools, all in one place, to help improve your self-awareness and get to know yourself better, to understand the basic issues of dating, to develop the dating relationship, red flags to watch for, things best known before the relationship goes further, and how to move toward marriage.
Please know that I have tested all the assessments and only chose the free ones.
Of course, the list below is not at all exhaustive. I do not claim to be any sort of relationship or singles guru, but I do consider myself successful as a Christian woman who is single. I also understand what works and what doesn’t work in dating relationships and what’s going on in the Christian dating scene. I have written a bit on romantic relationship issues, such as my blog last year on 6/5/16, “32 Worst Reasons to Get Married Ever-er,” which later became the basis for a workshop at a Christian singles retreat which was well-received.
Also please keep praying, reading your Bibles and good Christian materials, asking your spiritual mentors and leaders and Christian friends, and studying yourself and your date as your relationship moves along. The tools near you are more important than any distant tools you could access online. May the Lord bless you on your journey as you date and seek God together.
RESOURCES FOR CHRISTIAN SINGLES WHO ARE DATING
5 Love Languages Self-Assessment.
The 5 Love Languages website. Dr. Gary Chapman.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ accessed 01/22/17
Free online Myers-Briggs personality assessment, very short version.
Metarasa personality page.
https://www.metarasa.com/mmdi/questionnaire/ accessed 01/22/17
What Are the Real Red Flags in Dating?
Kaitlyn Muir. Article for Relevant magazine online. 01/31/13
Christian Character Index.
Assess Yourself website.
http://www.assess-yourself.org/survey/cci/ accessed 01/22/17
Obstacles to Growth Survey.
Assess Yourself website.
http://www.assess-yourself.org/survey/otg/ accessed 01/22/17
6 Christian Leadership Styles.
David Olson. Six Styles website.
https://sixstyles.org/discover-your-style.php accessed 01/22/17
Free Spiritual Gifts Analysis.
Church Growth Institute website.
https://gifts.churchgrowth.org/cgi-cg/gifts.cgi?intro=1 accessed 01/22/17
Spiritual Growth Assessment (.pdf)
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwjc4dTOp9fRAhVK7mMKHd1lDJUQFggmMAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lifeway.com%2Flwc%2Ffiles%2FlwcF_PDF_DSC_Spiritual_Growth_Assessment.pdf&usg=AFQjCNFJjvomR2IRhDgb92AbDUOMkveotg&cad=rja accessed 01/22/17
10 Ways to Tell If You Are Ready to Date Again.
Carol Brody Fleet. Blog for the Huffington Post website. 6/1/13.
II. Christian/Biblical Definition of Marriage
What Are 6 Purposes for Marriage?
Institute in Biblical Life Principles website.
What is the Definition of Marriage?
https://www.gotquestions.org/definition-of-marriage.html accessed 01/22/17
The Bible’s Teaching on Marriage and Family.
Andreas Kostenberger. Article for the Family Research Council website.
http://www.frc.org/brochure/the-bibles-teaching-on-marriage-and-family accessed 01/22/17
Bible Study Tools website.
http://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionary/marriage/ accessed 01/22/17
III. The Basics and Styles of Christian Dating
Biblical Dating: How It’s Different From Modern Dating.
Scott Croft. Article for Boundless website. 3/23/12.
Top 5 Myths of Christian Dating.
Dr. Stephen Simpson. Adapted from his book, What Women Wish You Knew About Dating: A Single Guy’s Guide to Romantic Relationships. Article for Crosswalk.com. 6/18/2008.
10 Principles for Christian Dating that Will Transform Lives.
Frank Powell. Article for Frank Powell website. 01/29/16.
101 Creative Dates.
Jim Burns. Article for the Christian Broadcasting Network online.
IV. Issues and Concerns for While You Are Dating
10 Red Flag People to Avoid When Dating.
Steve Arterburn. Article for Oneplace.com ministries.
How Do I Know if He (or She) is the Right One to Marry?
Mike & Anne Rizzo. Article for International House of Prayer. 5/26/16.
http://www.ihopkc.org/resources/blog/know-right-one-marry/ accessed 01/21/17
Ask the Tough Questions About Your Relationship.
Glenn Lutjens. Article for Focus on the Family website.
How to Spot a Poser.
Jonathan Pokluda. Article for The Porch Dallas website. 4/21/14
http://www.theporchdallas.com/how-to-spot-a-poser/ accessed 01/22/17
9 Signs You Should Break Up.
Pokluda. Article for The Porch Dallas website. 3/19/14.
http://www.theporchdallas.com/9-signs-you-should-break-up/ accessed 01/22/17
V. Questions While Dating
Is Online Dating for Christians?
Jenell Williams Paris, Leslie Ludy, and Dennis Franck. Article for Christianity Today. 10/17/11.
What is an Appropriate Level of Intimacy Before Marriage?
https://www.gotquestions.org/before-marriage.html accessed 01/21/17
Is Making Out Wrong?
Article for the Chastity Project website.
Questions to Consider Before You Get Engaged.
Rob Eager. Adapted from his book, Dating with Pure Passion: More than Rules, More than Courtship, More than a Formula, as an article for Christian Broadcasting Network.
http://www1.cbn.com/family/questions-to-consider-before-you-get-engaged accessed 01/22/17
Think Before You Live Together.
Whitney Hopler. Adapted from David Gudgel’s book, Before You Live Together, as an article for Crosswalk.com. 8/8/2003.
VI. Considerations for Moving Into the Engagement Stage
10 Things You Need to Talk About Before You Get Married.
Debra K. Fileta. Adapted from her book, True Love Dates. Article for Crosswalk.com. 12/11/13.
Questions to Ask When Preparing for Marriage.
John Piper. Article for Desiring God website. 8/6/2009.
Premarital Counseling & 7 Reasons Why You Should Do It.
Racheal Tasker. Article for guidedoc.com.
http://guidedoc.com/premarital-counseling-why-you-should-do-it accessed 01/22/17
Personality Test: Compatibility Tests for Couples.
Polly. Blog for Christian Café website. 11/18/16.
https://www.christiancafe.com/blog/?p=5232 accessed 01/22/17
What’s Wrong With Living Together Before Marriage?
Mike Mobley. Article for Before the Cross website. 5/30/13.
What is a Biblical View of Pre-nuptial Agreements?
Article for Compelling Truth website.
https://www.compellingtruth.org/prenuptial-agreements.html accessed 01/22/17
VII. Christian Singles With Special Considerations
Starting Over After a Divorce.
Jill Klein. Article for Today’s Christian Woman website. 4/16/14.
For Widows and Widowers Considering Remarriage.
Article for Marriage Missions International website.
https://marriagemissions.com/widows-widowers-considering-remarriage/ accessing 01/22/17
11 Best Practices for Dating as a Single Parent.
Ron L. Deal. Article for Family Life Today website.
How the Dating Scene Has Changed for Older Singles 35+.
Polly. Blog Article for Christian Café website. 11/7/14.
VIII. When It Would Be Better to Break Up
13 Wisdom Principles When Ending a Dating Relationship: How to Break Up for the Glory of God.
Deepak Raju. Article for the Biblical Counseling Coalition. 8/26/14.