As children we dream about the future.
We dream about the day we’re allowed on the big kid playground, when we can own our first gear bike, and what we’ll be allowed to do when we’re teenagers. When we’re teenagers, we dream of becoming adults. We fantasize about weddings and getting married. Finding that special someone to share our life with is a dream that gains importance when we grow up. Some of us dream about having kids.
As time passes, some dreams become a reality and some dreams change. Some don’t seem to come true, or at least not in the way we expected. When dreams aren’t realized or they delay, we can become quite frustrated and even heartbroken.
This has been the case at different stages in my life. However, I’ve learned a lot through the years and I’d like to share my favorite lesson with you.
Our ultimate satisfaction can only be found in the Lord! Philippians 4:19 “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus (KJV).” Trying to find satisfaction outside of God, even in romantic relationships, falls short.
The beginning stages of a dating relationship are exciting, filled with butterflies and smiles. At some point in the relationship, the magic starts fading, and we start to see the person for who they are. What’s worse, there comes a time when we start failing, and even hurting, each other. We can’t get past the pain. We lose trust in our partner. We have a hard time forgiving and an even harder time forgetting.
For some, this is where they call it quits. Others hang in there but are constantly struggling to keep their relationship afloat. No satisfaction there.
When we have specific expectations and approach dating and marriage as consumers, we will always be disappointed because we are flawed humans and we’re choosing to be in a bond with another flawed human. Even when we are able to effectively communicate our expectations, there is no guarantee the other person will be able to live up to them, and vice versa.
Personally, the more I clung to the idea of making dating or marriage the ultimate goals in my own life, the more I began to see myself as a failure, and the further I strayed from God’s purpose.
In contrast, God never lets us down because He is perfect, un-flawed. The more I—and the more we—know Him and His character, and the more we understand what to expect, the more He can satisfy our every need.
We must bear in mind as well that marriage, which should be where we are headed when entering into a courtship or a dating relationship, was meant to be a reflection of something greater: our union with Christ.
God displayed His great love for us by creating us in His image. Like Him, we are desirous of relationship, and we are able to love and be loved. He brought together man and woman to share a unique bond, an intimacy unlike other relationships, even to the point of becoming one. That oneness is but a shadow of what is to come. It’s a glimpse of the love the Father has for us.
The sacrifices that were offered to God for the atonement of sin in the Old Testament were meant to foreshadow a greater Sacrifice that was to come in the person of Jesus Christ. Marriage is also meant to be a foreshadowing of the day Christ gathers up His bride and calls us His own: “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called Isaiah 54:5 (ESV).” This unique union brings the single believer comfort and satisfaction.
There are many other lessons I’ve learned in my walk through singleness, but this has been the most life-changing.
Singleness is a gift, as much as is marriage. Singleness is a unique time in our lives to put our priorities in order and seek God more. It’s a time to learn to love Him for who He is and find our satisfaction in Him.
When we do this, whether or not we eventually find a spouse, we will already be satisfied. The expectations we put on our date will be realistic because we will be filled with joy. Our joy will bubble over into our relationship and will make up for at least a fair share of our shortcomings.
So be encouraged and find your satisfaction in the Lord! “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
My name is Sabrina Lucotti and I’m from Argentina, although I’ve been living in Vancouver for the past 3 years. I love reading, cooking, traveling, and spending time outdoors with family and friends. I hope to go back to university in the next year to validate my Teaching license here in BC and be able to start working in schools again.
I also volunteer with Youth Unlimited, a beautiful organization that works with at-risk youth, helping them reach their potential and sharing the gospel with them. If you would like to know more about them, please check out the following link: https://www.youthunlimited.com/