I have been a single parent, married, widowed, and married again, this time, forever to Ced. We know the hiccups, happiness, and heartaches of singleness. Our heartbeat is to offer practical, real-world advice to single Christians.
1. Pause. Slow down and breathe deeply. I remember after my previous husband died and I was widowed in my fifties, I thought my chances to remarry were nil to none. Even worse, I believed the lie of the enemy that “all the good ones were gone,” either married or in committed relationships.
He connected Ced and I in a miraculous way as we were both running after Him with all of our hearts, and we still are. Now, we’re just running together. I can truly say I’ve never been more fulfilled, living and loving the life I’ve always dreamed of.
This culture would convince us that if we aren’t partnered up at a certain age, that it’s never going to happen. The devil is a liar!
God knows exactly where you are. He knows exactly who, where, and how He will connect you with your destiny mate.
2. Purposefully seek God’s plan for your life. God doesn’t give detailed blueprints, but He will provide a framework on which to build your life. This means you must become a student of YOU!
Ponder and answer these essential questions about yourself before ever considering partnering with another:
- What is my purpose?
- What am I passionate about?
- What type of people and environments fuel my passion?
- What are my pain points?
- What are the main qualities I need, respect, and expect in a partner?
- What am I adding to a partnership?
- How do I want my family culture to reflect God’s fingerprint on our lives?
- Am I spiritually, emotionally, financially ready for marriage?
3. Play. This is a time in your life where you have permission to be a little self-indulgent. You can make career, money, and travel plans without needing to consult anyone else. Devote as much time as possible to personal growth and development.
4.Priorities. Keep your priorities straight. Making and keeping your personal relationship with God your number one priority is critical.
No person will ever be able to take the place of God in your life. No matter how wonderful they are, no one will ever love you like God does. As long as there is a God, you will never be without love in your life. Cultivate that love life you have with the Lord. From that love will flow agape love for your future mate.
5. Prayer Life. Have a prayer life. Developing a close relationship with God and a life of prayer will serve you well, whatever your status is in life.
6. Passionate Pursuit. Passionately pursue the gifts and call of God on your life, unhindered and untethered. When God sends your mate, you can add and multiply strength to each other’s destinies.
7. Preparation. To prepare for your marriage, you must prepare your best self for you and your mate now. You must get in the best spiritual, physical, mental, financial, and emotional state possible.
We all have luggage, but resolve to reduce yours to a carry on, a manageable size. It’s unfair to bring burdensome, toxic, unresolved crates of issues into a relationship. Get counseling, mentoring, coaching, whatever you need to bring your best self to marriage. Preserve yourself sexually for marriage by committing to abstinence and honoring God. He will bless your union in ways you can’t even comprehend.
Even if you’re not a virgin, you can commit to getting it right this time. God rewards obedience.
8. Plans and goals that are not contingent on being married or on another person are important. Nothing is more attractive then being someone who knows who they are, Whose they are, and where they’re going. If you want someone who is “going places,” don’t be a parked car yourself. Get moving!
Venita Reynolds, Reclaimed Queens in Blue Jeans http://rqibj.org
To read her husband Pastor Ced’s keys to successful Christian single reading, please go back to yesterday’s guest blog post.