Recently, someone posted the following situation on social media: If both spouses work and the husband comes home every day before the wife, should the wife still cook every day? The last time I checked, it had been up only five days and there were over 550 comments and climbing.
Many of the women were upset with the responses of the men who said, Yes, and that’s what is expected! I couldn’t believe there was so much heated controversy over this question.
It got me thinking, this is the curse of Genesis chapter three at work.
The Curse of Genesis 3
You see, in Genesis chapters one and two, Adam and Eve were the ultimate power couple. They were submissive to each other. Both were given the responsibilities to rule the planet, be fruitful and multiply, and not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They were naked before each other and God, but they were not ashamed.
When Adam and Eve sinned in Genesis 3, several spiritual principles that did not exist instantly sprang to life. These destructive principles were rooted in the DNA of a rebellion that caused the fall, not only of the human race, but the entire universe.
Because Adam and Eve were given jurisdiction over the universe but chose to believe the devil, everything they had ruled over was given to him. He also became ruler over the planet they once ruled. Satan was already God’s nemesis before he enticed Adam and Eve to sin, but he became the master and enemy over the entire human race because we were in Adam’s DNA.
The devil is now all about continuing that deceit, destruction, and death all over earth, including in our human relationships, John 10:10. This is why, it says in Romans 8:20-21:
20 For the creation (nature) was subjected to frailty (to futility, condemned to frustration), not because of some intentional fault on its part, but by the will of Him Who so subjected it—[yet] with the hope
21 That nature (creation) itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and corruption [and gain an entrance] into the glorious freedom of God’s children. AMPC
The DNA of Relationship Ruin
The destructive principles of relationship ruin have the potential to destroy both parties and not just the relationship itself.
Genesis 3:16 records that the Lord told the woman,
“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,
and in pain you will give birth.
And you will desire to control your husband,
but he will rule over you.” NLT
Eve usurped the authority of not only her husband, but God, when she engaged in a conversation with the devil, ate the forbidden fruit, and offered some to her husband. In the wake of the resulting fall of mankind, God determined that women would continue to desire to rule over, or control, men, just like Eve attempted to do in the Garden of Eden by stepping outside the authority of her husband. However, God also determined in the same passage that men would rule over, or control, women.
This ongoing conflict and power struggle are the origins of feminism and the battle of the sexes. Opposing desires and pride keep the conflict broiling.
I realize this is a very unpopular explanation in a culture driven by political correctness and rabid feminism. It’s no excuse for the poor behavior of unprincipled men toward women. However, it is necessary to understand the spiritual origins of a spiritual problem before any real solution can be proposed.
Reverse the Curse
Opposing desires and pride make for great comedy, like when Lucille Ball tries to get around Ricky’s orders.
It’s not funny when opposing desires and pride shatter the peace and joy in a marriage.
And you know what? Destruction doesn’t wait for you to get married. It shows up while you’re dating.
Each may desire to rule over their partner using manipulation, arguments, and other tactics, causing friction and power games. However, power games cannot rule your relationship if you want to reverse the curse and have a stable, blessed marriage.
If you sense that the Lord is calling you two together into marriage, you will have to defeat the enemy now, while you are still dating. Otherwise the most positive parts of an intimate relationship will eventually be ruined by your underlying pride and opposing desires.
Return to the Garden of Eden
That means cut out the power struggles.
Start eyeballing the real enemy: not each other, but a spiritual army that hates for godly people to form godly marriages.
That means make sure your primary values, personal goals, and ministry focuses are aligned.
You don’t have to agree on every single thing, or do everything the same way. You can think of every positive value, goal, and focus you two share as big money in the bank of relationships.
Start thinking and working together as a team obsessed with showing off Jesus in your lives.
Learn to share responsibility and power. Submit to one another, Eph. 5:21.
Adam and Eve shared responsibility and power when they still were the ultimate power couple. Sin split their spiritual union and caused the resultant disharmony and power struggles.
You two don’t have to live that way, though.
You won’t be perfect, but you can create your own Garden of Eden by fighting to reverse the curse and recreate God’s harmony.