Being single ain’t no joke. I was single, married, and single again, so I know what all that is like.
My initial stage of singleness was a blur and I really wish I’d had somebody to help me understand the world of singleness. Today, I’m happily married for the second time to my lovely wife, Venita.
Part of our ministry together is sharing practical tips for singles to help them make wise decisions in life.
Some of the complications we’ve seen occur have been when singles make poor decisions regarding friendships, employment, money, and ministry.
Friendships: Who do you trust? That’s a big question for every person but especially single folks. The value of friendship is something many people take for granted until they need a friend.
When I was single, I thought I could trust who, I came to learn, were just fair-weather friends with private information.
Boy, was I wrong.
How I learned to trust, unfortunately, came by trial and error.
One major key I found out about finding trustworthy friends was not being so needy myself. When I became more assured of myself, my friends became fewer, but the few I had left were true to the core.
Employment: What difference does your employment make? I’ve always been pretty independent.
When it came to employment, I’ve always wanted to work for myself. The challenge was not always having the necessary knowledge or skills to maintain the lifestyle I wanted.
One major key I found out about employment was I might have to be employed doing what I didn’t like for awhile until I gained specialized knowledge and skills to live the lifestyle I desired. So many life disciplines and character qualities are shaped in our employment, whether we work for others or ourselves. It’s better to learn these qualities sooner than later.
Money: How do you spend money? It’s so easy to spend money on what we want when we have it. So many singles find it challenging to save and invest money. I didn’t really give a lot of serious thought about the future, so saving and investing weren’t realized until later in life.
One major key I found out about money was no matter how much I earned, I had to choose to save and invest my money. A practice that even superseded saving and investing was when I started tithing.
Ministry: Why should you be involved in ministry? When I became single for the second time in my life after my first wife died, I had no clue about single life, let alone doing ministry as a single person. After being married for 28 years, I never gave much thought to being involved in ministry as a single.
With a heart to understand my new stage of life, I began to look at how other singles were approaching ministry. Of course there were single folks who were doing an awesome job serving the Lord in their calling. What I discovered was standard among single Christians was a shock to me.
There were many single folks who weren’t involved in ministry because they thought they needed a mate to be taken seriously in ministry.
One major key I found out about being involved in ministry as a single was to pursue whatever I was called to do with passion. My focus on carrying out my assigned mission gave me fulfillment in the midst of my singleness. It also compelled me to empower and support other singles to become all that God would have them be in their stage of singleness.
Today, Venita and I are happily married. After both of us experienced the passing of our spouses, the Lord caused us to cross each others’ pathways at the most appropriate time in our lives. We’ve been amazed that we’ve never bumped into each other because we’ve known some of the same people over a nearly 25-year period. It was our pursuit of God and serving Him in our respective ministries that caused us to find each other.
It is our hope that singles love God, love themselves, love others, and pursue His plan for their lives.