In many years of singles ministry, I have run into believers at different stages of their Christian walks. Their ages would vary, but across each stage, they would have similar questions and challenges.
I thought I would share about them today so we could each see where we are at. Also, so you can recognize and help them when you come across them in your church or Christian singles groups.
1. The Casual Inquirer. These persons are exploring Christianity. Sometimes they’ve gone to church their entire lives but still don’t have any depth to their walk. They’re like “pre-Christians.”
They are not committed to Christ, the church, the Word of God, or the walk of faith and obedience. Sometimes they have legitimate, intellectual questions about the faith. However, often the questions are smoke screens for not wanting to deal with lifestyle issues, values, or character flaws.
Sometimes they will stay on the fringe for years, and nothing you say or do will persuade them to trust the Lord until that one day when God sees they are ready. Then they may become:
2. The Carnal Consumer. This stage is characterized by a rapidly developing knowledge 
and application of the Bible as well as a growing awareness of their relationship with Jesus and other believers.
These are persons who have verbally committed to Christ. They have lots of questions and absorb teaching like a sponge. Their spiritual vision may be pretty myopic as they learn about themselves and the Lord.
Sometimes these believers come with a lot of crises or baggage, and you’ll have to spiritually help stop the bleeding.
They may be in the midst of a divorce or newly divorced. They may be having problems with their children. They may be impatient in their singleness. They will have to be prayed and coached out of situations like ungodly unions, living together with their boyfriends/girlfriends, various addictions, out-of-control spending habits, and/or strong, fluctuating emotions. Help them with constant contact, counseling and praying together with godly friends, and mentoring. They may need more than you can give; redirect them to Christ-centered counseling and/or an appropriate support group. Eventually, they may stabilize and become:
3. The Committed Christian. These have gone from being new believers to practicing followers. They are stable in the basic Christian disciplines of prayer, Bible reading and Bible study, church attendance, tithing, making rational and godly decisions, and witnessing. They may know their spiritual gifts and become involved in ministry regularly. They are learning to press through spiritual warfare and discouragement.
However, these are also the singles who keep wondering where their mate is, now that they’ve been serving the Lord for some time. They may get restless after an extended time of commitment to their home church and want to try other churches to look for a mate. They may struggle with boredom in stability (especially if they’re not used to it yet), discerning God’s will for their future, unseating deep character flaws, setting boundaries when asked to participate in several ministries, stepping up to higher levels of responsibility in career or ministry, and/or single parenting.
Many will break through to the next stage:
4. The Captivated Companion. These believers have been captivated by the love of God. 
They have seen His glory and grace at work. They have experienced deliverance. They know they have nothing to offer God except their tattered hearts. And they are grateful.
Their spiritual energy knows no bounds. They press through opposition and discouragement like seasoned soldiers. When they mess up, they know to jump right back into the arms of Jesus. They have wisdom in how they see and interact with their world and people around them. 1 John 2 tells us they have learned to resist the devil. They have grown in godly love, but not loving the world.
Occasionally, something major will happen in a believer’s life and blow them up. Girlfriends/boyfriends leave them. Children die. Jobs are removed. Chronic medical conditions develop and even worsen.
If they cannot reconcile their faith with their experience, their faith wanes. They begin to question the presence, power, or passion of Jesus for them. These believers may become:
5. The Critic. In unbelief and bitterness, these believers point fingers at Go
d and others. Sometimes they walk away from years of godly living. They may even oppose God and His people.
Logic and Bible verses don’t work for them anymore. They must be prayed for and loved back into the fold with a fresh encounter of God’s grace.
Know that oftentimes we will jump between stages, or revert to an earlier stage, just because we’re human. Spiritual growth isn’t always linear. But God’s love is always perfect.
Where are you at these days, my friend?
Based on: Matthew 13:1-23, 1 Cor. 3:1-2, Hebrews 5:11-14, and 1 John 2:7-17.
Come back next week for my next guest post, which will be from Alex Muleya Smart of South Africa. He will be sharing from his heart about walking through the darkness that comes to all of our lives more often than not.
