When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I imagined as a child. But as soon as I was a man, I put away childishness. 1 Corinthians 13:11 NMB
Do you have a favorite food from childhood that you still love? I really, really love me some cotton candy. I know it’s not real food—it’s just fluffy, spun, flavored sugar—and my orthodontist already told me to lay off the sugar—but I love it anyway.
Every time I go to a ball game or a festival, I must find the cotton candy vendor and have at least two of their biggest bags. I have a couple of good friends who are also confirmed cotton candy addicts. The last time we went to a ball game, we each got a huge bag, ate some, ate out of each other’s bags, passed them around to the dozens of others in our church singles group, had some left over, and stuffed our faces with the rest till they were gone.
We each did this three times, y’all. Say we don’t love cotton candy. We should probably go to a CC Anonymous group soon, like right after the next game.
Are there foods you used to like when you were a kid, but no longer? I can’t even stand the smell of chittlins anymore. I can’t believe I used to eat them as a child. If you don’t know what they are, look them up and thank God you don’t. I think when my “adulting” hormones kicked in, it changed how my nose and taste buds worked and I haven’t touched them since. I feel like I outgrew them.
How about you? What have you outgrown? Food, clothes, cars, houses; attitudes, relationships, simplistic solutions for complex problems, a basic understanding of the Bible and theology—these should all be on the list of things that we have outgrown as followers of Christ.
It’s one thing to have received Christ in a church or crusade somewhere in the last twelve months. It’s another thing to have received Christ five, ten, or twenty years ago, and not have mastered and matured beyond the basics. What are the basics?
The four things every new convert is told to immerse him/herself in to keep their faith 
growing, are:
–reading your Bible every day;
–praying and talking to God every day;
–regular church attendance for fellowshipping, teaching and authority; and
–witnessing: telling others about your new faith
I would add a fifth: a growing understanding of biblical doctrines and principles, and how to apply them. Why does this matter to Christian singles? Because growing your understanding of biblical doctrines and principles will help mature you as you walk through life in your relationships. Think: like when I want to get married.
Maturing will help you be better dating partners and, eventually, spouses.You see, the maturity you develop in your walk should be visible in not just your words and behavior, but also in the community you choose, your attitudes, motives, level of self-awareness, humility, love, and doctrine. You will date and relate differently to others. You will begin to realize that theology is no longer simple once you get past “Jesus loves me, this I know.”
It’s not fun to adjust and update our thinking when it contradicts our comfort zones of sinful attitudes. If we’re going to follow Christ all the way, however, it must be done.
Let me give a personal example: Divorce was just becoming common when I first became a Christian in high school, but it was not anything close to what the rates are today. Two years later, our little singles group was too immature to even have anyone in our midst married, let alone divorced. The weddings were slow in coming. Furthermore, very few of our parents had been divorced, and we did not have a compassionate view of divorced people. I told myself I would never date anyone who was divorced.
As the years went by, I heard the tragic stories of what both men and women went through leading up to and while they were going through their divorces. I heard it from their kids, too. I have concluded that divorce is still wrong, but not only because “it’s a sin.”
I understand now that God knew what He was doing when He created marriage. He understood how He designed humans and human relationships to function. And He restricted both marriage and divorce to stabilize society by protecting the family unit.
In opposition to what society or the church says, God calls a lot of things that happen in families sin: beating and hitting; screaming and name-calling; withholding sex as a punishment; the silent treatment; ignoring one’s spouse’s needs and concerns; selfishness and addiction. All these and more go into the autopsy of a divorce, and He hates all of it.
I couldn’t hang onto my immature, uncompassionate, cut-and-dried attitude that divorce is a big sin. Well yes, it is, but there are many reasons why it happens.
I see how serious marriage is and how committed I must be to honoring Christ before I get into a marriage. Sin happens in every marriage and is involved in causing every 
divorce. I must love the divorced person and not condemn them or treat them like second-class citizens. And I cannot pride myself on not having been divorced. I basically outgrew my attitude and understanding of divorce.
What attitudes, teachings, and doctrines do you still have an immature, cold and uncompassionate, cut-and-dried heart toward that you will need to reexamine for the purpose of updating or eliminating?
What attitudes, teachings, and doctrines do you still have an immature, cold and uncompassionate, cut-and-dried heart toward that you will need to reexamine for the purpose of updating or eliminating? Click To TweetThere are six principles that I’ve tried to maintain over the years so that I can continually be aware of my areas of blindness and immaturity and work towards enlightenment and growth:
Love above all. Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 NLT
Love is the supreme goal of the Christ follower’s character, according to this verse and others like it, such as 1 Timothy 1:5. We must seek to imitate Christ as He loved those who stumbled and fell into sin. No doctrine or teaching supersedes love.
Whatsoever is not of faith is sin. But if they have doubts about what they eat, God condemns them when they eat it, because their action is not based on faith. And anything that is not based on faith is sin. Romans 14:23 GNT
Don’t concern yourself so much about other’s opinions or convictions as you do your own.
Seek to understand and not just to hear. Therefore, dear brethren, let everyone be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. James 1:19 NMB
This is a general communications skill. Listening well is a treasured but little-used tool that we would do well to sharpen by daily use.
Keep reading the Bible, but also consult with respected scholars and teachers for your reading. Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth. 2 Timothy 2:15 AMPC
The best commentary on the Bible is the Bible itself. Let scripture be its own 
commentary. Looking up cross references can keep you very busy, and there are plenty of tools online to help you with that.
You’ll also want to consult with pastors, Bible study leaders, seminary and Bible college students, and others, both known personally by you and the famous folks online, to get a clearer picture of a teaching you want to update.
Be humble. Live and work without pride. Be gentle and kind. Do not be hard on others. Let love keep you from doing that. Ephesians 4:2 NLV
The closer we get to God, the more aware we are of our sinful tendencies. Let our own propensity to not know everything, to stumble, and to fall soften our hearts towards others who may also be struggling. Jude 21–23.
Pray about everything. Pray always. Pray in the Spirit. Pray about everything in every way you know how! And keeping all this in mind, pray on behalf of God’s people. Keep on praying feverishly, and be on the lookout until evil has been stayed. Ephesians 6:18 VOICE
Instead of fussing, gossiping, or getting anxious about anything you see or hear, pray about it first before responding.
All these principles, woven firmly together into your life, will help you mature in those old doctrines you have believed and make you a better mate.
