What a gorgeous day. What a fabulous restaurant to go on a date to. What a romantic sunset. What a beautiful moonlit night. What an awesome vacation that would be. And no one to share it with.
These thoughts and others may cause us single believers to wonder afresh where our soul mate is.
If we thought that cuffing season was tough, it barely holds a candle to week after week of gorgeous summer nights. Those long hot days, breathtaking sunsets (or pics of breathtaking sunsets that you wish you could have enjoyed with your mate), and lovely evenings that start later and end up alone is enough to make a single, even a Christian single, crave a summer hookup.Craving fulfillment of our desires for intimacy and sex (no, they’re not the same) can lead us to make mistakes. Big ones. Click To Tweet
Summer romances and hookups were all the rage during our high school and college years. They’re still the rage in today’s culture where sex is the hottest commodity on the dating market. Apps like Tinder make it easy to find temporary friends with booty benefits. Craving fulfillment of our desires for intimacy and sex (no, they’re not the same) can lead us to make mistakes. Big ones.
Now, before you make one of those romantic mistakes with built-in, long-term, negative 
consequences, stop yourself. Do this by redirecting your desires for emotional and physical intimacy to strategies you can use to fight the enemy and resist the devil (not resist temptation; see James 4:7).
If that takes too long, jump in the pool or take a cold shower. When you’re done, let’s sit down like rational Christ-followers and see how we can take down that craving for a summer hookup.
1. Talk to yourself. Instead of telling yourself how lonely you are, how long it’s been since you’ve had a date, and how much you’d like to have some sex, tell yourself something different that’s true. Remind yourself that God has never left you, that you won’t die if you don’t have another date this weekend, and that the sex will be even better when you finally get married because you chose God’s way over the world’s way. Override your flesh with higher truths.
2. Seek God by yourself. I love corporate worship with my peeps in church, but it can’t come close to my personal time worshiping the Creator of the universe and the Lover of my soul. Worshiping alone is so intimate; it feels like I’m having conversations with my husband.
If the “lonelys” are trying to capture your heart, take them to the “onlys” that you find in God alone by spending more time worshiping Him privately. Only He completes you; only He provides for all your needs; only He knows what’s best for you; only He deserves your worship and praise (as in don’t worship marriage as an idol to meet your needs).
3. Understand yourself. Some of us are introverts, and staying indoors hiding is the best protection for our personality type. Getting out is hard. Try introverting away from home—in a park or library, book store, or coffee shop.
Some of us are extroverted and being home alone is even more difficult. You have pushed yourself into a punitive corner, complaining about your loneliness. Get out there and extrovert! Part of beating your fleshly desires is knowing who you are so you can be yourself, but better—the way God intended.
4. Don’t beat yourself up for failing in the past. Everyone has made mistakes in relationships, whether it was in college or just last spring. You won if what you learned from your mistakes is to not repeat them. Don’t let the enemy get you obsessed over your past and your mistakes. And don’t let the enemy trick you into thinking you have to go back, you don’t deserve any better, you must meet every craving of your flesh.
In Christ, you can have a do-over every time you mess up. Eventually you won’t mess up so much. One day, in that one area of your humanness, you won’t mess up at all. You might not even miss it! You can’t face the future looking backward. Now move positively into your future.
5. Take care of yourself. Now that the weather is better, summer a great time to get 
outside and get active. Get in a few hikes, maybe a trip to the beach or mountains, and a few Saturday mornings at the gym or walking park. It’s a great time to eat better—fresh fruit and salads never taste better than when they’re in season. It’s even a great time to treat yourself to some “extra” care like a spa treatment, a deep tissue massage, or attending your church’s Saturday evening service so you can sleep in on Sunday.
6. Don’t leave yourself unattended. Instead of holing up in your apartment, bingeing on pizzas and porn or love stories, determine that you are going to get out of your place at least a certain number of evenings a week. Make it a SMART goal and give yourself specific numbers. Example: “I’m going to get out of my apartment for two hours at a time not including transportation time, at least two nights a week from Monday through Thursday night and at least twice a week from Friday through Sunday night.” Mark it off on your calendar/phone till it becomes natural for you to get out of the house several times a week. Self-care will help redirect your focus from what you don’t have to what you can do to help yourself.
Text a friend and go grab a meal together. Walk your dog daily right after dinner. Plan now to go to that outdoor summer concert series you’ve been wanting to check out. Bring a snack to share in case you stumble upon a group you might like or some old friends. This is called making no provision for sin, Romans 13:14.
7. Explore in new things. When was the last time you checked social media for groups near you doing stuff you love to do, or have always wanted to do? Do you like to salt-water fish, crochet, country dance, or write poetry? Go find you a new group. Have you wanted to learn to bake gourmet desserts, rappelling, buy a car at an auction for resale, or develop your brand for a budding idea or product? Go find you a class to take.
Have you always wanted to go on an island vacation with your spouse? Well, nothing is stopping you except your insistence upon going only as a married person. If you can’t get some of your friends to go (it always helps to plan months in advance), book your vacay anyway. They’ll be jealous when you get back. Maybe they’ll want to join you next year! Learn to adventure life and not just experience life alone.
May you have the godly sense not to fall for the enemy’s lies of convenience for a summer hookup, but instead, to enjoy God’s life to the fullest.
