Most of us Christian singles would call ourselves true followers of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.
Whatever differences we may have in the finer points of our theology, we would say that we trust God. We trust Him for our salvation, the forgiveness of sin, an eternity in heaven, and that He will always be with us.
Yet when it comes to our singleness, sometimes we lose our minds. We forget that we’re supposed to be trusting the same God who saved us for our singleness and future marriages.
We feel like we’re doing this singleness thing and trying-to-get-married thing all alone with no help from God. He’s too slow. You know what I mean.
Examples:
We think about summer and the upcoming holidays and wonder if we should just not go to the family gathering this year, or bring someone. Then we agonize over who we would bring.
Our souls feel a jab when we learn that one of our ex’s just got married. Then we second-guess our decision and wonder whether we should have kept them.
We fret that we’re getting too old to have children. When one of our friends who got married last year announces their first pregnancy, we wince inside.
We might even pray, pray, pray for God to give us a mate. Then we’ll run from potential candidates at church mumbling, “Not that one!” Yet the ones we’re chasing are not interested in us.
I’ve done these. Which ones have you done?
Truthfully, we often don’t know what trusting God in our singleness means. “Trust God” is a worn-out cliché that is thrown at us singles—often by marrieds—when we express our desire to get married. However, they don’t know what it means, either. What does it mean?
What Trusting God Looks Like
The story has been told of a missionary who was translating the bible and came upon the word “trust.” Though he knew the native language well, he couldn’t find a corresponding concept in this culture. He explained his situation to a national, who was sitting in the room by him, watching what he was doing.
His visitor smiled as the missionary explained what the word trust meant. Then he stood up from the chair he’d been sitting in, pointed to the chair, and told him the word for “putting one’s full weight upon something.” The missionary had his word.
What does it look like to put our full weight upon God when it comes to trusting Him for our future marriages? Like we’re leaning so hard on Him that if He moves, we’ll topple over?
Five Qualities About God
First of all, we must remind ourselves that we don’t have to “do singleness” alone, or get ourselves married off to the first available candidate. Yet we can trust God because of Who He is.
Who He is, is embodied in several qualities that centuries of astute theological writing have barely tackled. His core essence, as holy and mighty as all that is, causes Him to care for His creations with a passion, even for His single kids.
Let’s review five of God’s qualities that particularly touch on our season of waiting in singleness.
The Love of God
For God has proved his love by giving us his greatest treasure, the gift of his Son. And since God freely offered him up as the sacrifice for us all, he certainly won’t withhold from us anything else he has to give. Romans 8:32TPT
God’s love is highly documented throughout the bible, from the Old Testament till the new. His love for us is so grand that we can’t fully comprehend it. I especially love how God expresses His love for us in Jeremiah 31:3.
He demonstrated His love for us by giving us His Son, Jesus, for our sins. He loves us enough to keep giving us His very best.
The Wisdom of God
Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! Romans 11:33NASB
God is never surprised by our humanity, so we never disappoint Him. He doesn’t have opinions or faith; He literally knows all things. He knows exactly what will shape us into the likeness of Christ as well as bless us. We can trust Him to give us what we really need, not what we (think we) want.
The Sovereignty of God
He who calls you is trustworthy, and he will in fact do this. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 NET
Nothing can thwart His good plans for us, not even our own mistakes and disobedience. He will do what He wants in our lives, and what He wants to do is all good. You can trust Him to overrule any plan of man (including yours) to accomplish His good and perfect will.
The Preparation of God
We have become his poetry, a re-created people that will fulfill the destiny he has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One. Even before we were born, God planned in advance our destiny and the good works we would do to fulfill it! Ephesians 2:10 TPT
He trains His people to be able to manage what He’s sending us. A dazzling array of tools conforms us to the image of God and prepares us for His best, including waiting, disappointment, words of knowledge, and betrayal. He loves to increase our capacity by increasing our faith to match His purposes.
The Providence of God
Look at all the birds—do you think they worry about their existence? They don’t plant or reap or store up food, yet your heavenly Father provides them each with food. Aren’t you much more valuable to your Father than they? Matthew 6:26 TPT
We pray and trust the Lord for things that we consider trivial to kingdom business: good weather, our dog’s recovery from surgery, a good sale at our favorite store. Remember that He is concerned about everything that concerns us, whether we consider it trivial or monumental. If and when He knows we need a spouse, He will make sure we meet and develop a relationship at the right time.
Let us get to know the Lord better, that we may better trust Him and experience His presence during painful seasons of singleness.
