Well, I missed my flight back to Zimbabwe last month.
The worst part was, it was my fault.
I really wanted to help my Zimbabwe family and bring the few things that they requested, plus a little more. To that end, I’d taken one side trip too many driving back from DC (got my documents authenticated) and bought too many things to pack.
When I got home, I couldn’t fit most of it in my luggage, but still tried to make it to the airport on time. I got there too late. By the time I got the wheelchair assistance I needed, the plane had taken off.
I really don’t know which is worse—getting messed up because of someone else’s poor choices or my own. They’re both bad. Anyone else know what I mean?
So here I am, waiting to fly back in January.
I figured, it cost too much to return in December due to the Christmas season. And my Christian training classes would have long been over. I also didn’t feel comfortable going on major outreaches when I had missed 70% of my classes.
Plus, if I had taken the next flights available, there would have been no one to pick me up at the airport—the entire team was leaving to go to an international conference the day after my regularly scheduled arrival, which is when I would arrived.
So now I hurry up and wait.
It took several days for me to stop beating myself up for missing my flight. Then I realized this was an opportunity to get everything right before I leave for good.
I’d left my last roommate with a mess of bags of stuff that wasn’t her fault. It took me awhile, but I was able to pick up everything and use a different way of getting their gifts to them.
Getting more documents notarized and authenticated was also something I really needed to do.
I wasn’t able to find a place to stay immediately, so I unceremoniously got sent to a local homeless shelter directly from the airport. I stayed there the entire month and over a week into the next as I write this post. It was all a waiting and praying game. Meanwhile, God gave me a lot of insight.
First, I noticed my dignity and self-esteem did not change a bit. My surroundings no longer affect me like they would have early in my walk. Only God can define my worth, never circumstances or people.
Second, I noted that the Lord helped me feel safe and comfortable in my situation. There is a lot of noise in our shelter with kids running around playing and screaming and their moms yelling at them. Also, there is little privacy and a lot more rules than what I was used to living independently.
My personality, looks, and background are completely the opposite of what I experienced while staying at the shelter. Yet I’m learning the peace and contentment that overrides my situation.
How I praise the Lord that you are concerned about me again. I know you have always been concerned for me, but you didn’t have the chance to help me. 11 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:10–13 NLT https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+4%3A10-14&version=NLT
It isn’t that bad staying there. I’d rather trust the ladies who live around me than hotel staff nearly any day.
Third, I’m learning to submit to authority even beyond what I think is reasonable. Most of the staff here are younger than me and some of them are fussy about the rules. Yet I was able to submit to their rules and accept my lack of privacy and freedom without (too much) complaining.
Fourth, I realized God was preparing me to live amongst and identify with a people who is nearly destitute. Although I’ve never been rich, at least I’ve always enjoyed the basic amenities of living in the most prosperous nation on earth.
Electricity, running water, weekly trash pickup, uneventful sewage processing, and access to technology at nearly every level are daily expectations for us here in the US, but they’re not consistent where I’m going. I was there a month before I saw a garbage truck stop by; everyone gathers their trash in a corner of their yard and burns it when it gets too high.
Fifth, I remember having a desire to work at a women’s shelter while I was still living here. I’ve since prayed for, prayed with, and talked to several people here. I’m grateful for the opportunity to share and minister. I’m really just another beggar telling other beggars where I’ve found Bread.
Sixth and finally, I am experiencing the grace and mercy of God as I wait out my time to return. His mercy is fathomless and so very needed.
Though it was my fault I missed my plane, I sense His presence, love, and care even in the consequences of my mistakes. Truly, His grace is greater than all my sin. And one day the consequences will end.
He’ll never abandon or disdain me, and there’s nothing the enemy can do about it.
God’s love outpaces and supersedes our mistakes and poor choices. We can’t do enough stupid things to make Him stop loving us. He already told us His attitude and commitment toward us in His Word; check out Jeremiah 31:3, Romans 11:29, Philippians 1:6, 1 Thessalonians 5:23–24, and Jude 24–25.
How about you? Have you encountered the grace of God in the midst of your mistakes? I sure have, and I love Him for that even more. Thank You, Jesus!
BTW, if you want to keep up on what’s going on with me, head over to my Facebook page, For single Christians: One is a Whole Number. To make it easier, click here: https://www.facebook.com/4singlechristians
Wow, thanks for sharing! Godspeed!